Thursday, November 15, 2012

How I Knew I Was Pregnant

Just FYI this may be TMI if you are uncomfortable talking about certain "times of the month" or feminine products.   

This post is a little late in the game but I read and article on how or when women realized they were pregnant and I wanted to share my short story. For the most part I have typically avoided talking about the early days of my pregnancy. As I wrote in my very first post it took me a bit to get used to the idea and I was much less excited about it but I have accepted that I just needed time. I am now thrilled and very excited as you can tell. We are so ready to meet our baby boy.

To be honest I think I could almost pin point the day Eli was conceived.  Strangely enough there was just one time I had this weird feeling and thought "Hm..what it that was it." Obviously I do not know if that was truly "it" or not but the timing does make since. Aside from that I waited and waited for Aunt Flo to arrive. I had been tracking my time of the months on an app, yes, there's an app for that, and wasn't even a day late when something unusual happened.

I noticed some light spotting and was very relieved, I always take a smill sigh of relief when Aunty makes her appearance. In went a tampon (see...tmi) and I went about my day. A few hours later out came the tampon and along with it was nothing. And along with that was a mini heart attack. I just had a very strange feeling about all of this and had been feeling a bit off in the past week or so. I didn't feel bad, sick, or anything that noticeable but it was just like I knew something was different. I tried to hope that my brief spotting that didn't last was just nothing and that the real thing (Aunt Flo) would be arriving shortly.

I couldn't take it any longer. My app said I had 1 day left before my time of the month hit and I had been a day or two late or early several times before and never thought any thing of it. Despite that I just really felt like something was off and I needed to know. What I thought I needed to know was that I wasn't pregnant so I could just relax and let that stress go.

I took my impatient behind to CVS and bought a pregnancy test, 3 actually, for the first time in my entire life. I rushed home....prayed to God, peed and wouldn't you know. I could hardly get the stick out from under me when that second line started showing up. It said to wait 3 minutes so I left and thought maybe just maybe the second line would disappear by the time I went back and checked on it. Well ladies, let me just tell you the second line will never, ever disappear. It just doesn't work that way.

Quickly I researched getting a false positive pregnancy test. It wasn't looking good. I took a 2nd test and BAM two seconds later two pink lines. Son of a.........I decided to call 2 of my closest friends and they really didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to say. I look back now and I realize I was basically sharing with them that I was pregnant but without admitting it because I couldn't even accept it myself just yet.

Mark closed that night and I spent some time crying and coming up with a plan on how to tell him. I knew he would be excited and I wanted that moment to be special for him regardless of my reluctance at the time. I also desperately wanted him to know so that I could talk to him. As I said he is my BFF and only he would really understand how I was feeling. Despite my needing to talk, I held my news from him until the next day and later that evening when we had some time. I will share my story of how I told him later but that is how and when I found out I was pregnant.

It was a very emotional, exciting, scary moment for me but has blossomed into a wonderful thing! I know each story is different and I am jealous of those filled with excitement and joy immediately but I like my story too. It is real and gave me time to grow.

Danielle

No comments:

Post a Comment