To Share or Not to Share...

Mark and I were out the other night for one of our friends 30th birthday parties.  We saw a lot of friends we haven't seen in a while and as expected a lot of people wanted to talk about the baby. Small talk went on about that...is it a boy or a girl, plans for the nursery....and then I had a guy say "Oh yeah...and going for all natural RIGHT?!" as he laughed jokingly afterwards. Well, silly me decided to say "actually yes, we are going to try for that" and I was surprised at peoples response. I had heard people want to tell you all the "horror" stories of birth and I heard that we would be told we were crazy for going that route but I didn't really think that would actually happen. A few people said "Yeah, good luck. You'll be begging for the epidural!" and then go on with their less than pleasant stories.

I was shocked because as someone interested in going the natural route if everything goes as planed, I could never see me telling someone interested in an epidural..."Are you serious? You can't suck it up for a few hours like women have been doing for thousands of years to bring your child into this world?!" Which, by the way, is not at all how I feel. It is a choice for each to make and I know some people would like to just pass on the pain all together. I see nothing wrong with that. I also know things don't always go as planned and sometimes intervention is necessary.

I was just set back by the lack of support and it made me think. Whose business is it really? I mean, I am sharing it here and with my family and close friends but why share it at a "party" or a "group" setting where it could be discussed for hours whether I'm interested or not. It sounds selfish but until my birth is all said and done I think my response to questions regarding our choice will go something like this "Oh, we will just have to see when we get there" because truthfully, no one (but close friends and family) really even cares. They just want to share their story and go on about their business. They also don't have the weight of giving birth in a few short months on their shoulders. Their time has come and gone so they can only speak from their past experience.

I also find it interesting that all moms that have gone natural will encourage people to go natural and only one time have I heard a mother that had done both say she would choose the epi over natural if she had another.

So what do you think? Would you or did you share your plans with people or just give up it all together? Also, how do you respond to peoples birth plans or how did people respond to yours when you told them?

Danielle