You are my sunshine!

When Eli was a new newborn, 1-3 weeks old I used to sing "You re my sunshine" to him and cry my eyes out. When it got to the line "please don't take my sunshine away" I imagined I was pleading to God not to let anything happen to my sweet baby boy. At that point I really thought he could die at any moment and there was nothing I could do. Being a 1st time mom is really the most unimaginable experience in life. You could never prepare for or imagine how you will feel after you give birth to your first child. I look back and feel a little guilty. I did not enjoy Eli's newborn stage. Not that their weren't enjoyable moments and not that I didn't love him with all of my heart but the emotions that you go through totally unprepared made it difficult to just enjoy him being a tiny, innocent, and helpless little baby. I have been enjoying Noelle so much at this stage and just find her to be the sweetest, most peaceful, and beautiful little baby I have ever seen! I sung "You are my sunshine" to her the other day fully expecting to let out a good cry but it didn't happen. I sung to her and smiled and watched her look up at me while she nursed and I just felt so content and at ease. I know God is watching over her and I know he could indeed decide she is too perfect to grow up on this earth but I don't have the fear I had with Eli. I'm so thankful to just savour and appreciate each moment of this short stage with joy and peace this time around. 

Danielle 

1/4/16