Eli starts kindergarten. Our first summer is over. Both of these things are breaking my heart. I’ve been ignoring the fact that this day has been coming and drowning my sorrow in travels and fun filled days with my sweet babies all summer long. We’ve truly done it all this summer. Traveled many places, seen many new things, hit up all our favorite things, played with friends, played with family, got new toys, laughed, fought, but mostly stayed busy. I can probably count on my hands the days we just stayed home and did nothing and half of those were because we got hand, foot, mouth. I love taking our children to see new things but now that the day before kindergarten is just about over I can help but feel like I was just trying to squeeze in as much as I could before we enter this whole new world. I am sure it won’t seem as life changing or intense as I feel like it will be but right now I think of how much he will change. Next summer he won’t be the same child he is now. And every summer from here on out he’ll be different than the year before. I keep seeing a post around facebook about how you only get 18 summers. Only 18 summers and 5 of his are already gone. My heart can’t handle it but I know that’s life. I just pray that he finds good friends and has good teachers. I pray he’s surrounded by love and is happy. I pray that God shows me how to guide him through all the things he’ll be faced with from now until he graduates and even beyond that.
It seems so silly. I hope I look back and think this is silly. I just can’t help but feel like this is just another step towards loosing my baby. Kindergarten might go wonderfully but what about 1st grade? What about 2nd? What about 6th or 10th??? So honestly, this will probably be our easiest school year yet but that’s what hurts. It’s one step further from me that he takes and one step closer to the real world.
Eli’s determined to ride his bike to school every day so we will start that tomorrow. We had to get new training wheels for him today because we aren’t quite ready for without and the cheep ones he had before kept falling off. I have his lunch all packed and ready to go, and his school supplies has already been dropped off. Hopefully I can re-cap the day tomorrow. I hope I’ve gotten most of my tears out today so I can hold it together at drop-off tomorrow.
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