Eli was tired from joining the world and he slept a lot. He woke up at night a decent amount but we expected that and were as prepared for that as we could be. He sleeps in the bassinet next to our bed. Thankfully Eli fed very well from day one. He breastfeeds like a champ so we had no problems there. We opted not to have him bathed in the hospital so we have him his first bath on day two of being home. He didn't care for it because it was a sponge bath. We had to wait on his cord stump to fall off and his little pee pee to heal from his circ.. It was so much fun dressing him in his tiny clothes and just admiring every little bit of him. He had perfect skin, perfect hair...perfect everything.
I was sore for the first few days like I had done a crazy hard workout and was recovering from it. I used all the supplies the hospital gave me for "downstairs" care and that was sore too but not too much so. I was on a mild pain medicine (motrin) and only took that for the first week. By the end of the week I didn't feel I needed it anymore. I was over prepared for my postpartum healing. I expected tons of pain and misery for a few weeks at least but there was hardly pain and no misery at all. I didn't use my padciles, I didn't need them. I am thankful for my easy recovery and don't regret over preparing.
Physically I left the hospital and weighed in at 175. By the end of week one I was 159. I also took my measurements. Small of waist: 34.5", hips: 40", belly: 38.5", under bust: 33.5", thigh: 24", bicep (small): 11.5". I felt so small when I left the hospital and compared to how I went in I was! At the end of the first week I couldn't believe how much my tummy had gone down!
One day postpartum! |
1 week postpartum! |
Emotionally the first week (and second week) were really tough for me. I hadn't expected to love this little baby so much and I found myself overwhelmed with worry, guilt, and happiness. I was unreasonibly worried that something would happen to our precious baby and even had a few horrible dreams that didn't help. I felt guilty for disliking my pregnancy and hating my body during it. I would look at him and cry thinking how could I be so selfish and vain. I thought that if I could go back I would love every minute of being pregnant knowing it would bring me the most perfect baby boy. I also felt guilty for feeling so unsure of all of this. I wasn't sure I wanted to be a mom...especially not at this time and during that first week of him being here I was hating myself for ever feeling that way. Now that he is one month...these feelings have passed and can see things more clearly and realistically but those first few weeks of postpartum hormones are a doozy! I also felt overwhelming happiness and love that I didn't even think possible. Almost an obsession with Eli. I am pretty sure I even googled "I'm obsessed with my newborn". Haha, now being a month out I still feel so much love and happiness but I'd be lying if I said I didn't pout when waking up for the 3rd time at night and in the first two weeks I felt like I would happily not even blink my eyes to watch him and happily give up every minute of night of sleep to keep him happy and healthy. Now...though I still would do anything to keep him happy and healthy...I am not always "happy" to get up for the 2am, 4am and 6am feeding.
They say the first two weeks are the hardest emotionally and I'd agree with that. The baby blues took me a little into the third week and every once in a while I have an irrational thought or cry but each week things get better and I feel like I am learning more every day. Despite that, Eli is such a joy and so adorable. I love watching him look at new things and make new little faces. I don't want to rush or waste any of this precious time!
~Danielle
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