...When we got to the hospital they reviewed our information and got us checked in. They had all my information from when I was 16 and still had me down as a minor at my parents house. We got all that corrected and the nurse that was there said she was looking forward to us coming in because she saw we took a Bradley classes and her daughter was interested in using the Bradley method to have her child. She was almost almost off duty though so she wouldn't be attending our birth.
I had changed into a hospital gown and felt really awkward with the back being open. Also my water was still leaking so I was really uncomfortable not being able to really cover all that up. A new nurse came in and introduced herself. She was the sweetest thing ever and was very positive about our birth plan. That was great but then the doctor came in and she was awful. I could vent about her for pages but I'll just say she was very disapproving of our plan and told us so in a very demeaning way. Thankfully when she left after that original horrible meeting she never came back until Eli was on his way out.
After she left the room we got hooked up to the monitors and things seemed to be going good. Contractions were strong and long but still 3 minutes or so apart. They were so uncomfortable laying down but I was told I just needed to be monitored for 20 minutes at a time and then I could take the monitors off and move about. Eli's heartbeat would slow down during a contraction and resume to normal after and the doctor wanted his heartbeat to slow down during, speed up after, and then resume so they made me stay on the monitors. The nurse told me after each contraction to push on my belly and wiggle it some to get Eli to react and get his heart rate up. A few hours later, I would guess around 11pm or so Eli gave us a scare and his heart rate dropped to down to 40. The nurse came running in and telling me to move around. I was in the middle of a bad contraction and didn't know what was going on but I did as she said and then she said his heart rate had dropped. I asked her if I could please stand and even though they don't typically want that when you have the monitors on and she allowed it. Eli's heart rate did exactly as it should the rest of the time.
The contractions by this time were so awful. Mark would try to be sure I drank some water in between but it was so hard to even do that. I stood up on the side of the bed swaying my hips and leaned over the bed with each contraction. I would look at Mark and say "Help me..." but he didn't know what to do and I didn't know what I wanted him to do. At one point I helplessly told Mark that maybe I should just get the epidural. I told him that it could be so many more hours of this and I didn't know if I could make it. He brushed it off and didn't really respond. On the inside I was thinking "Damn...he didn't take the bait"! I was wanting so relief! It wasn't long after that I started feeling like I needed to push with the contractions.
The nurse came in and I told her I was feeling like I needed to push and she offered to check me. I was scared to get checked because what if my check said I was no where near ready. Despite that I said yes and I laid down on the bed. She said I was 9.5 cm and everything else was ready. She left us to labor just a bit longer and I was encouraged by the 9.5cm but I had also heard of people pushing for hours before their baby came so I was still expecting a long road ahead.
Contractions continued to be very long, even the nurse made a comment on how long they were. Well over a minute and coming almost non stop by this point. The whole time I was pregnant I was looking for a description of what strong contractions felt like and I wish I hadn't waited so long to write this out so I could give a better description myself. Some said they were like strong period cramps and I guess they had a little bit of that feeling to them times about 20. I could describe them as that mixed with when you eat something that disagrees with you and you have to go to the bathroom so bad you can't hardly hold it and get goosebumps and bad abdominal pain until you get to the bathroom...that pain times about 10! Hows that for TMI but anywho, I also had pretty bad back labor that was a very sharp. It was sharp pain all across my lower back with each contraction and I didn't really expect a sharp pain.
Anyways...the urge to push got stronger and she checked again. I was all ready but a small stubborn lip of cervix that I had to wait on. She said she could get the doctor to move it or we could wait it out. I had never been in so much pain in my life but I did not want to doctor to interfere until absolutely nessesary because she was such a....well you know. I waited it out and I could literally not stop myself from pushing when a contraction came. I tried not to but it was so hard. She brought in the head nurse who confirmed the lip of cervix was still there...d*** it. At this point I was getting a little ridiculous. Everyone said I did great and composed myself well but I was panting through the contractions and could not control my breath like I was supposed to. The nurse tried to help me saying "breath for your baby" and I would give it my all, which worked for about 10 seconds. They had me changing in all different positions to try to get the cervix to be gone and they kept encouraging me saying as soon as I can push with the contractions Eli would be here in no time. They told me my contractions were very effective and that I was doing a great job. I think they were telling me that knowing I could hardly take it anymore.
Again, each contraction brought on pushing and they finally checked again and told me it the lip of cervix was gone. I took that as go time but they told me to try my hardest not to push until the doctor came in. ...If you've read any other birth stories or given birth yourself, you know that is impossible. Seriously, how can you NOT push. The doctor was paged and in the room in no time along with about 10 other people, a huge spotlight, three new tables and equipment...it was kind of ridiculous. Mark and I still kind of laugh about how as soon as they said "get the doctor" our room went from relatively calm and peaceful to a full blown out stage show! My body was pushing hard with each contraction and the doctor said "stop pushing, I need to get dressed"...too bad at that point I didn't care. The head nurse and our nurse were on both sides of me and FINALLY I got the go ahead to push. They told me when to push and counted to ten encouraging me to push as hard and long as I could with each one. The nurses were sweet and encouraging while I was pushing and told me I was doing great. The doctor had a different method though and told me that since I wanted to "go natural" I was scarred to push hard because I didn't want to feel the pain. (She must know me so well...) It was hard not to snap back at her...but I believe I did say I am not scared and I'm trying my best.
I continued to push and they said he was almost here. The nurses encouraged me to reach down and feel Eli's head. I didn't really want to but I figured I had come this far and might as well "embrace" the whole thing. Right after that the doctor said, "I can do an episiotomy, just a small cut, and on the next push you will meet your baby." I looked up at the "angel" nurse and she just had this look of approval on her face. With that and the bribe that with a "small cut" I would meet Eli I said yes. She did the cut which I could tell she did but there was no pain with it and the next contraction I pushed as hard as I could and his head made his way out...with another really strong push the rest of him made it into the world. The doctor held him up for me to see and he was so beautiful and tiny. I didn't know what I would think when I first saw him and I was overwhelmed but had immediate love for him. They toweled him off real quick and placed him on me. I wanted to cry (I could cry right now typing this) but I didn't. I don't think my body had energy to cry. I was so exhausted and had just been through so much. I looked for Mark who was behind me and asked him "what are you thinking?". He was in awe and sort of speechless I think. I told him I loved him...there was so much going on in the room and I do regret I didn't look to him more while pushing. The doctor gave me some stitches (being sure to throw in some other rude comments) and I got a small shot of pitocin in my leg to help with the placenta and to help the bleeding. I could feel the placenta coming out and it was mildly uncomfortable but who cares when you have your baby. Plus...mild discomfort after all that is a walk in the park!
From the time I started actively pushing to the time Eli came out was a mere 6 minutes! Everyone said when you can push with the contractions there is so much relief. And while I agree that it was way better to work with your body than try not to push it was very hard work. Pushing was more uncomfortable and harder than I thought it would be. I am so thankful I didn't have to push for much longer. I can't imagine pushing for hours.
Eventually the room cleared out and Mark and I had a little time with Eli by ourselves. I think we were just overwhelmed, exhausted, happy... I don't remember us saying that much but I know we were so proud of everything! Eli seemed so small, peaceful, and perfect. I had so much love for him right away, it was almost too much! After a short time we brought in our families. They had been waiting there since about 6:30pm and it was after 3am.
It was such a crazy experience. It was not what I expected but I didn't know what to expect. I'll do another post on my hindsight of it all but if anything I am proud. I can't say that enough because it describes how I feel about everything. I am proud of Mark, proud of me, proud of Eli and so thankful to God for everything and how everything worked out.
The pictures below are a little out of order. I also brought my "good" camera and took some of Eli in the hospital before we left to go home but these are all from our phone.
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| Right after being born. |
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| Right after birth. |
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| Us leaving the hospital as a family of 3. |
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| Eli & me at the hospital. |
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| We had just arrived at the hospital and got changed and ready! |
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| Eli getting ready to go home. |
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| My sweet baby. He sucked on his bottom lip a lot at the hospital. |
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| Getting weighed! |
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| Mark managed to capture one of the |
<3 Danielle
