I had an apt with the ob today and they scheduled my induction for baby Taylor to be on June 3rd. With two children, a business, and ...well...life, this pregnancy has flown by and to be honest I haven't thought much of it outside of the inconvenience I find pregnancy to be. It hit me today that I only have one week left of my current life. One week left with my two sweet babies before we add a 3rd to the mix.
Noelle has grown so fast and she is so cute. Literally Mark and I can't get over how adorable she is. We're obsessed! She has been the sweetest thing since the day she was born and honestly she's the whole reason we changed our mind from a 4 person family to a 5 person one. I was so much more at peace with myself when she was born and in return I was able to truly enjoy her in a crazy kind of way from the second she was born. I feel like God blessed me in the most incredibly with her. He took away stress, gave me confidence, energy, and strength to really see what an amazing blessing having a child truly is.
Eli is still my baby though and I find myself wanting to just savor every stage and moment with him because I feel like when he grows it's all over! That sounds so silly considering he's only 4 but HE IS ALREADY 4! Time goes so fast! He is so much fun and full of life, energy, and love now! It's funny that I can really see that he understands that I am his mother and he genuinely loves me so much for it. Not just because I provide for his basic needs but because he actually likes and enjoys me. Every night I read him a story, we pray together, talk...I don't ever want to give it up and I know I will have to one day. I feel like each day is a day closer to more complicated times. He is just so innocent right now but I can already see him growing and facing issues he's never had to face before and it's bittersweet watching him learn about life. Actually, selfishly, it's more heartbreaking than sweet. I just pray every day that I can be the mom he needs me to be and that we give him all the love and tools he needs to be a happy, good, and godly boy, teen, and then man one day.
I know Taylor is meant to be. In fact, we had changed our mind about having a 3rd but little did we know we were already expecting. I know this is Gods plan for our family. Even still, just as with Eli and Noelle, I can't help but think about how our lives will change. I can't help but wonder if Noelle really got her fair share of love before we decided to split our hearts 3 ways and I can't help but wonder if Eli will be happy or resentful dealing with two sisters. As they grow will they be close or wish they has us all to themselves. Will I have the patience or energy for 3? I don't ever want them to feel like a burden.
Enough of all the sappiness. On a side note, Eli seems to be pretty excited about Taylor. He is calling her Tay-tay (not sure about that one) and asks about her all the time. He's always asking me when she is coming and telling me he wants to meet her. He hugs her (my belly) and even tells her how much he loves her. He asked me in the car the other day if I thought she'd have blue eyes like him and Pell. He tells me he will watch over her and protect her. Poor Pell, that's more than she gets but obviously Taylor isn't a reality to him yet. Nonetheless it is neat to see him actually know that he is getting a new sister because with Noelle he was totally clueless. We told him today that Taylor was coming next Saturday and he was disappointed that she wasn't coming sooner...as was I. BUT, we have one week left and I need to make some plans for special one on one time with my sweet babies before all of our lives get changed once again!
Danielle
